In James Chapter 3:1-12, James opens our eyes to the fact that not every word that comes out of a person’s mouth is needed. When you speak, are you speaking as though Christ dwells within you? What do your words say about Christianity? Do they encourage others to follow Christ or showcase hypocrisy and deter people from going to church?

One of the most common excuses I’ve heard from people about why they won’t go to church is, “the church is full is hypocrites.” To be honest, it’s the truth. The church, as well as the world, is filled with hypocrites that act one way on Sunday, holy and happy, then drastically change their attitude the minute they wake up on Monday morning. In a two-faced world, how can others see the love of Christ? How does your attitude differ on Sunday? Can you tell a difference?

Just last night, I had an argument with a good friend that really struck me off guard.

Keep in mind, the morning after our argument, I went to Sunday school and our scripture was on James Chapter 3 about  “controlling our tongues.”

About a month ago, we had a get together where apparently something was said that offended her. The whole night we talked, laughed, and let the kids play while we played a few board games. (I know it sounds lame but it was a lot of fun) In my eyes, nothing was wrong when she left, and everyone had a good time together; however, in her eyes, I extremely upset her in some way. For over a month, we didn’t talk to each other. I would send her messages and she would rarely send back anything. I knew something was wrong but didn’t want to bother her. To be honest, I just thought she was busy with work and didn’t have time to get back to me. We are both adults, so life does get busy. Last night, I finally gave in and asked her if everything was okay. What did I do that was so wrong? Did I hurt her in any way? When she finally told me what happened, I literally was shocked. I had no idea that at some point during that get together about a month prior I had offended her by some comment that I had made. I still don’t know what comment was, but I do know that it hurt her pretty bad and that breaks my heart. I perceded to ask her for forgiveness and try to figure out where I went wrong but somehow the conversation blew up in my face and now I don’t know what will become of our friendship. It only takes one word, or perception of a comment, to ruin a friendship and ruin your “Christ-like image. One way or the other, one of the words I said, hurt one of my best friends. I can never take those words back, but I can learn from my mistakes and grow in my walk with Christ by trying to be more like Him and less like myself.

The Bible says in John 3:30 “He must increase and I must decrease.” I think it’s time I remind myself to let Him take the lead with my words.

Was I wrong for being sarcastic, making a joke, and not even knowing I hurt someone? Or was she wrong for not confronting me about it immediately so the problem could be resolved? The truth is, we both were in the wrong, and hopefully we both learned a lesson that we can grow from, restore our friendship, and prevent future struggles. Friendships are not easy at any age. Treasure your friendships and treat each friend as though they are a gift from God. One day, they will be gone and you’ll wonder what you did to push them away.

When you speak, think twice about what you say. What if you never see that person again? Was that simple argument worth being the last words you spoke to them? What about your silence, if you lost your friend today, would you miss that month you ignored them? What can you do to be a better friend, family member, or even coworker?

For now, I don’t know where our friendship will go or if it will be restored, but I do know that I will watch my mouth a little closer next time and all the time.

“Now if we put the bits into the horses’ mouths so that they will obey us, we direct their entire body as well. Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires.” James 3:4-5

Your words will direct your path and the paths of others. Beware of what you say, one wrong word could send a friend down a path of destruction, depression, and pain. What path are your words leaving behind?

This poem was written as the last words of someone you hurt. Don’t let this friend be the friend you left behind.

When I die will you miss me?

Will you know who I was?

Will you remember our last fight?

Will you remember the words?

What will happen when you open your eyes?

When you realize I’m gone and no longer alive?

What about the words you can never get back?

The night I left and felt under attack?

The silence we started will forever go on.

Because you never realized one day I’d be gone.

Think before you speak. Words have more power than you know.

Your friends are gifts from God, always treat them and all people, with respect and love. Show them Christ even when you are joking or just kidding around. Christ’s love is your witness to this world. Are you sharing His love with others?

“So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body and sets on fire the course of our life and is set on fire by hell. For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison.” James 3:5-8

Your words can either set a fire that spreads the love of Christ for generations to come or a fire that destroys everything in its path. The choice is yours, choose wisely.

May God Bless You and Show You His Grace Every Day!